Marriage is one of the most important decisions of a couple’s life.  At Evergreen we believe that God has given us clear guidelines in the Bible which help to enrich and protect their relationship throughout their lifetime.  Our desire is that each couple contemplating marriage, build their relationship upon sound Biblical principles. 

Compiled below are some frequently asked questions.  We want to help successfully launch you into this lifelong journey together with God!

1.         How long do we have to be a couple before we consider marriage?

As marriage is one of the most important decisions of a couple’s life, we believe a couple should understand what God says about marriage in the Bible, to pray together asking God to guide them.  It is very important that proper preparation and relational work be completed prior to saying “I do.” 

2.         Can an unbeliever and a believer marry?

The apostle Paul writes in II Corinthians 6:14-16 that those who follow Christ are not to partner with those who are not following Christ.  We believe that if only one person is following Christ Jesus in a marriage that significant conflict will occur.  The most important and significant relationship you will ever have is with Jesus Christ.  Prior to setting your wedding date we would like to be sure you have an opportunity to know Christ.

3.         How long does it take to prepare a wedding?

We strongly encourage at least six months or more to prepare for a life-long marriage.  More time will be required if there are issues such as prior divorce, cohabitation, or sexual activity.  We advise you to begin our marriage preparation process as soon as you begin to think seriously about marriage.

4.         Do we have to attend pre-marital counseling in order to be married at Evergreen or by one of your pastors?

You must participate in pre-marital counseling either through our church or through Ada Bible Church.  (ABC phone: 616.868.7005) 

5.         If one of us is divorced, can we be married at Evergreen?

We believe that there are a limited amount of cases in which divorce is permitted.  However, God hates divorce (Malachi 3:13-16).  His desire is that we remain married until we are separated by death.  Jesus speaks against divorce in Matthew 5:31-32 and clarifies it to his listeners.  God’s desire is that you seek reconciliation and restoration until all possibilities are exhausted.  In such a case, we will review each case on an individual basis.  We will not set a wedding date until all cases of divorce are reviewed by our pastor(s).

We will use extreme grace as we work with you through each situation.  Some cases will require additional counseling with one of our pastors or elders.

6.         If divorced, how long should I wait before remarrying?

We believe that a new relationship (not just marriage) should not be pursued until the potential of a healthy reconciliation has been exhausted and time for emotional, spiritual and physical recovery has taken place.  We would suggest that no new relationships be started for at least a year from the finalization of the divorce. 

7.         Is divorce recovery counseling necessary?

There is a great benefit for a divorced person to progress through counseling sessions that address recovery, the possibility of reconciliation, remarriage and singleness.  Once a person’s individual case of divorce has been reviewed by our pastor(s) we may require that counseling precede setting a wedding date.

8.         What if we are sexually active?

According to the Bible, which is God’s Word to us, we are to exercise self control in our pre-marriage relationships.  This includes the act of sex, oral sex, and heavy petting etc.  If a couple is sexually active we will ask them to remain abstinent until they are married.   Our desire is to send you on your marriage journey with the best possible footing.  We believe that the lack of ability to exercise self-control prior to marriage opens the door in the future for marital problems.

For couples who choose to be sexually active, we will not proceed with setting a date for the wedding until abstinence is agreed to.

9.         What if we are living together?

This question is closely tied to question eight.  If a couple is living together and their desire it to be married at Evergreen or by one of their pastors, they must agree to at least two immediate changes.  The first is sexual abstinence until married.  The second is for one of them to move out until after the wedding.  Depending on the situation there may be additional requirements of counseling and renewal with the church as part of their marriage preparation.

For couples who are living together, we will not proceed with setting a date for the wedding until the situation is discussed and an appropriate course of action is taken.

10.       What if I want a pastor outside of Evergreen to perform our ceremony at Evergreen Church?

A couple’s marriage ceremony is one of the greatest times in their life.  We would be glad to have a visiting pastor perform the wedding ceremony.  We ask that the pastor share our views on marriage.  We will ask that any visiting pastor’s contact us to discuss this possibility.

If after reading this you would like to meet with one of our pastors about your desire to be married, please call us or email us.  We will send you more information and an application.

Wedding information

EVERGREEN CHURCH